And how can it help me?
After completing my first NLP practitioner and Master Practitioner course in 2006 with Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP, I still wasn’t sure about what It was all about.
My conscious understanding came much later. What happened initially was that my practice became busier, my clients just seemed to change quicker and for me personally, life just became easier, I became less stressed, less anxious, found myself laughing more and generally enjoying life.
I was left with a sense of curiosity and wanting to know more about NLP at a conscious level. It seemed that at my first course I spent most of the time in a trance where most of my learning was unconsciously installed!
I’ve completed many trainings since that time, including NLP Trainer Training with John Grinder who was Richard Bandler’s partner in crime back in the early 1970’s. Learning more about the mind and how it works and still consider myself a beginner. Like the magician’s apprentice. That doesn’t mean I can’t create magic though!
A quick explanation about how NLP came about:
Richard was a student at Santa Cruz University in Brooklyn NY and John Grinder was one of Richard’s tutors. Richard was full of curiosity about the mind and human behaviour and John was a linguistics expert.
Together with a bunch of friends, some you may have heard of including Tony Robbins, they worked together on an evening, studying people who were excellent at their chosen craft. They studied a few of the top therapists at the time including Milton Erickson a famous hypnotist, Virginia Satir, a successful family therapist and Fritz Perls a popular German psychiatrist NLP is useful in therapy but is NOT a therapy.
The group also Modelled successful sports personalities and everyday people. They looked at people who were at their desired weight, positive in their mood and generally any human behaviour deemed as excellent. With an intention of replicating. I’m sure I couldn’t be as good a golfer as Tiger Woods, for a start I don’t play golf, but if I did, my results as a golfer would improve as a result of spending time with him.
Modelling is what NLP is all about. Modelling consciously or explicitly, by unpacking the behaviour, asking questions, watching physiology and listening to the language used.
The best results are obtained through first modelling implicitly, this is just by watching for hours on end, going into a trance state and taking on board unconsciously. In a way like young children learn by copying.
This is where true magic happens.
NLP became popular over the years, as it happened to leave behind a trail of techniques, strategies and tools that are useful for us all to use in many ways. One of these techniques is known as ‘Anchoring’.
How The Anchoring Technique Can Help You.
Have you ever wondered why you respond in the way that you do?
Can you remember as a child hearing your mother say you name in a certain way?
When you just knew you’d done something wrong.
As we grow, we learn to associate actions and feelings to certain stimulus. It just happens.
When learning to drive a car, you learn that a red light means you stop and at first you think about it but then you just do it without thinking you have an automatic response.
Certain sounds will bring certain feelings – the Jaws theme I can remember seeing that movie and feeling scared, even now hearing the sound brings back those scary feelings.
Hearing certain songs immediately brings back memories. I remember the No. 1song in the charts when both my daughter and son were born.
Smells are really powerful anchors too. Aramis aftershave takes me back to 1977 and smooching with my first boyfriend to the sounds of The BeeGees, ‘How Deep is Your Love’.
In psychological terms this is known as stimulus response/operate conditioning. In NLP we call it ‘anchoring’.
There are different techniques within NLP that are useful to create positive anchors and also to collapse negative anchors.
How a Phobia is formed
When we have a phobia or irrational fear, we have created a kind of unconscious anchor.
Phobias can be learned quickly. In the 1920s, Behaviourists were exploring stimulus response and they took little Albert, a small child and showed him a white rat. He made the usuall noises and gestures a child makes when seeing a fluffy animal. When the child was absorbed in enjoying the experience, behind his head the behaviourist group caused a loud BANG, Albert cried and, in this moment, associated fear with the little white fully rat and not the loud bang.
Over time, little Albert’s fear generalised, he feared kittens and puppies and any later all animals. This is how a fear or phobia starts. We are not usually scared of the thing we think we are scared of, we’re scared of the thinking we have of the thing. And it’s all based on a misunderstanding of where your experience is coming from.
Anchors are set automatically, you could say they are a form of post hypnotic suggestion.
Everything within your experience could be classed as an anchor, the words I’m using are an anchor for an experience of understanding. Each word taking you through an unconscious process that enables you to interpret the words
Anchors are being set at any time, anything you do could be an anchor for something; your voice, a certain look could be setting an anchor or firing off something the other person already has set.
We can set anchors on purpose and they can also be fired off covertly or overtly.
Would you like more confidence?
I’d like to invite you to take part in this exercise where you can install your own resource anchor for confidence
Confident Anchor Exercise
Allow yourself to use your wonderful imagination just like you did as a child.
Remember a time when you acted confidently, when you felt confident.
This is usually when people say I don’t know, I can’t remember a time. It doesn’t have to be something hugh, we are just looking for a feeling. It could be when you rode a bike for the first time or passing your driving test.
Imagine floating into that memory.
See what you saw, hear what you heard and feel how you felt. Imagine how much better life is when you’re totally confident having that feeling, the self-assurance and all the self-belief you could ever desire or need.
Be aware of the images inside your mind, make the image brighter, more colourful. As the feelings move throughout every cell of your body, notice those good sensations. If there are sounds, make the sounds louder and more motivating.
As you feel the state of confidence building up inside of you, I want you to squeeze your index finger and thumb together on both hands and feel those good feelings.
Repeat the exercise, with different scenarios of different times when you remember feeling confident. felt confident. Building a nice cocktail of confidence.
Each time as the memory builds up, remember to squeeze your fingers and thumb together, sealing in the good, confident memories.
The last step is to TEST.
Distract yourself for a moment or two, This is called breaking state. Sing a song, or have a dance. And then go back and test your anchor. If you have done a good job, just by pressing your finger and thumb together you should feel the confident feeling in your body.
Your mind is very sensitive and learns through practice and repetition. Many of us practice fear and anxiety and become masters without even knowing we are doing it.
Now you can practice confidence, fun and a sense of peace on purpose.
When you practice this exercise every day, you will be amazed at the result in your feeling more confident.
Whenever you feel challenged, remember to turn on your confidence switch, concentrate for a few moments and access your inner feeling of confidence.
If you’ve stayed at the retreat you ‘ve probably experienced anchoring without or without realising it had a name.
If you already have a resource anchor you could add your confidence switch and enhance your original response.
Have fun and enjoy gaining confidence.
The first book written on NLP is a transcript of a live seminar and is still the best you can buy. It’s out of print now but can often be found on Ebay.
Frogs into Princes –
Richard Bandler & John Grinder